Emo Birthday Cake (Black-Bottomed Chocolate Cake)

This is what Devin's birthday cake looked like:

No, that's not true. But it was close.

Emo is a tribute to some of my indie rock-loving friends for whom colored sprinkle cakes are just not appropriate. Don't know what emo is? Look it up - and note Wiki's subheading on "mysogyny". Or just check out this awesome diagram (hidden is so hot!). Recognize anyone?

If you're as ADD in the kitchen as I am, you get tired of baking regular cakes for birthdays and what-have-you. White cake is for weddings (and really needs cake flour, to those lazy regular-flour-users out there), yellow cake reminds me of boxed mixes ('nuff said), chocolate is great but can get boring if it's overused. Even red velvet cake loses its appeal after you've served it to your family for the past 3 birthdays. So, for the last birthday event, I had a dilemma. I needed a cake that was

a) chocolate
b) fast
c) not boring (i.e. new to my kitchen).

It finally hit me. Drawing on a recipe my BFF Lindsey is famous for, I decided to go with a black-bottomed cake. Actually, I wanted to do cupcakes, but had no cupcake tins (mom has 12 of them). Fortunately, a couple years back I made a black forest torte mom was so impressed with that she bought me a set of teeny 7-inch cake pans. I used only two, and they made the perfect torte. Here's how it went:

for the chocolate cake:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (sift me well, otherwise I'll be lumpy)
  
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon cider vinegar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

You know the drill; dry ingredients first, then blend the water and oil. Add vanilla next, and vinegar LAST - this is your reacting ingredient, so be sure your pans are ready.

for the cream cheese filling:

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1 egg
• 1/3 cup sugar (or, if you're a Steele, maple syrup)
  
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (minis are good - fair trade is best!)
  

the frosting (chocolate, of course):

• 1/4 cup butter, melted
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/3 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar

I usually make frosting up out of my head, but I wanted a nice, stiff consistency that was still fudgy to make the torte stand up. This is the best recipe I've found, although it calls for way too much sugar. Start with half and add more if you need a stiffer frosting.

Cake pans: grease them or, if you're awesome, line them with parchment paper (trace bottoms, cut circles just like in kindergarten). This is important, as there's nothing more awful than baking an awesome cake only to have it break in half as you're getting it out of the pan.

If you don't have cute little torte pans, two regular 12" cake pans would work fine, although the layers will be somewhat thin. If you are feeling ambitions, 1 1/2 the recipe and do three layers. Divide the cake batter into your pans, then divide the cream cheese mixture and place in the center of each. You don't want it to be a ball, but you don't want it touching the sides either.

Bake at 350 F for about 20-30 minutes (depending on what size pans). Cool the cakes, then remove. Place one layer on a pretty cake plate, frost the middle, place next layer and frost the whole thing.

Voila!

Now you have a seemingly innocent chocolate cake with a sneaky cream filling. No one will ever suspect! To class this up, and to make the cake truly emo, I found some Betty Crocker "Black and White" candles.