How to Make a Jean Skirt from Your Old Jeans

Everyone has an old pair of jeans that are living past jeans' normal lifespan, but just can't be thrown out. They're your favorite pair; they're the only comfortable pair of jeans you've found in 10 years; they're the only dark jeans you have; you stole then from your BFF who lives across the country - we all have them!

If your jeans are developing a history similar to that of the Velveteen Rabbit, tossing them in the trash is not your only option. Inseam rips, worn cuffs, torn pantlegs - none of these matter when you re-create jeans into a skirt. 

(This can work for boys in converting jeans into jean shorts, although you'll obviously skip most of the steps below. Pretty much, cut the legs off and hem them. Or don't. Ok, this doesn't apply to guys at all.)

Gretchen, my own BFF requested this post several weeks ago. So here you go my dear, I'll see you at the Solstice!

Ok, ladies (and gentlemen who are secure in their masculinity) - get out your sewing machine and steal your mom's sewing accessories - it's time to take our wardrobe into our own hands!

Step 1: Put the jeans on and choose how long you want the skirt (or shorts) to be. You'll need to decide now whether you want the bottoms to be hemmed, or whether you prefer the "fringe" look. I've fringed all of mine before, and they turn out very nice -a la bohemian; I simply put a small seam about 1/4 inch above the bottom to keep it from fraying too much. We'll do a hemmed version here just so you can see the extra step.

Once you've decided how long you want your skirt/shorts, put them on and measure 1 1/2 inches below and mark with a marker, pen or chalk. Like this:

Take them off and lay them flat - make sure your dotted line is nice and straight. You don't need to mark all the way around the pantlegs, just lay them flat and cut both layers. Now you have this:

Now for the tricky part. Cut along the inside seam, on the side closest to the back of the jeans. Cut up along the inside seam to open the pants.

When you're done, keeping laid flat, fold the front flaps over one another, letting the pantlet seams make an upside-down V. The crotch material will bulge out; fold it over to the right, then cut up the seam in the middle just until the seams join, cutting along the right side of the single seam. Cut up far enough that the left side folds over at least an inch of material on the right and the front side lays flat. Now cut off some excess material so the top flap has a straight edge. Finished looks like this:

Here's the inside flap:

Now we'll do the back.

If you want an open, roomier skirt, cut and lay the back seam like you did the front. I want a tighter , A-line skirt (for the night club I never go to), so I'm not going to use any extra material. 

Pull the fabric in, laying the left side over the right, until the bottom cuffs join and form a straight edge. Cut up the middle seam on the right side no further than the bottoms of the pockets. If you don't have an ass, you can cut up further. If you're like Gretchen and me, leave that area nice and loose if you want to move in the skirt.

You might want to try it on to see how far you should cut it up and pin it so it lays. Mine looks like this:

notice the bulge of extra material above the pockets - that's Christmas, still hanging on

Ok, now front again. Make sure the front is pinned the way you want it, then turn skirt inside out. Using extra material from the pantlegs, cut a triangle big enough to cover the open upside-down V, with an inch overlapping on each side. 

Pin this from the inside, then turn it inside out again and see how it looks! Then, try it on - carefully! Adjust, if necessary.

Now we can sew.

I'm no expert on sewing (really), so if you're new to sewing or have an ancient sewing machine, Godspeed (no, seriously, I fought with my sewing machine through 2 Netflix and went through two spools of thread).

Do make sure you cover all upper seams (where the crotch used to be) well, especially if this area has been well worn. If the fabric is thin and you can't pull it over anymore, use extra fabric from the pantlegs and sew it over top the seams from behind. Sew over these seams at least twice (or with a heavy stitch), or you'll be fixing them again in a week.

Try it on, make sure it's sexy.

Hemming is easy - simply fold up the fabric (this works best while wearing it, to make sure you can wear this skirt in front of your parents) and put a few pins in it while it's on, front and back and sides.

Give this a nice, double row of seams. Trim, snip and wear it. Tear out all your stitches and start again if you sized it wrong. If it fits perfect, then congratulations!

Thanks for stopping by. By the way, readers, this little experiment of mine is going well. Half thanks to mom for inviting all her friends over, and half thanks to everyone for curious. Now, tell your friends. And use your friendly neighborhood Google Reader to subscribe to my RSS feed.

Sin taxes on Soda Pop? Part II (high fructose corn syrup)

Whether you believe soda is bad enough to be put in the same category as alcohol and tobacco or whether you believe it's the government's role to tax such substances at all - you can't deny the buzz that's surrounded high fructose corn syrup (soda's incriminating ingredient).

Natruo-geeks like my mother and myself have been crusading against unnatural sweeteners like HFCS, aspartame and Splenda (sucralose) for years, along with the evils of genetically modified and highly processed foods. What's so bad about corn syrup? It's best for you to educate yourself - I don't claim to be any kind of resource, but a few generally accepted "symptoms" of high fructose corn syrup are:

• obesity
• diabetes
• malnutrition (especially a concern for children)
• gingivitis (this is obvious)
• heart disease
• irregular/unhealthy menstrual cycles (such as severe pain)
• low brain function
• autism
• many more

Here's the full scoop by the Weston Price Foundation.

Aspartame (aka Nutrisweet, Equal etc.) has a similar list (yes, obesity is one of the side effects of "diet" products), but includes a few nastier side-effects, like cerebral palsy, epilepsy and cancer. Again, read for yourself.

The media - driven by corporations like Pepsi Co. and Monsanto - has come to the defense of HFCS. Their mantra is that it's gotten a bad rap, and that it's not bad for you at all.

Check out this new commercial by the Corn Refiner's Association.

Ok, Corn Refiner's Association, let me get this straight: your basic argument is that because this lady bases how she manages her and her family's health on hearsay without researching it for herself, we should...do the same by taking this commercial's advice to eat HFCS? Sounds like you want us to look as stupid as this lady.

Have your feelings about taxes on HFCS and aspartame beverages (soda pop!) changed at all? Having been raised by a slightly paranoid ultra conservative, I believe that personal liberty is at the heart of our government. Taxing people out of bad habits is not ideal - yet that's exactly what we're doing with cigarettes and alcohol, and we're probably not going to quit anytime soon.

Is it time we added high fructose corn syrup and aspartame to the list - products which have been banned multiple times by the FDA due to health risks? What about genetically modified products? Is this the government's job to tax these, or the FDA's job to educate and prohibit sales?

Now, for your amusement:

Sin taxes on soda pop? Part I

It's true, folks. Senate leaders are considering levying a 3 cent tax on sugar-sweetened drinks, including soda, many energy drinks - even your kid's Capri Sun. The Wall Street Journal had the balls to call this what it is: a sin tax.

There's a reason mom told you it's bad

Does this outrage you? Before we get out our pitchforks and begin raging against the machine - I mean the feds - let's think about this.

What is a sin tax? To quote Investopedia, it's "a state-sponsored tax added to products or services that are seen as vices...levied by governments to discourage...such activities." Such activities currently include alcohol and cigarettes - both consumer products which are generally considered to be bad, both health-wise and socially. Much as I would love to explore the reasoning on making cigarettes and alcohol heavily taxed "taboo" products, that's another can of worms for another post.

These are both sins. In fact, all fun things are sins.

So, why would soda be sin-taxed? The WSJ quotes Michael Jacobson, director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, saying "Soda is clearly one of the most harmful products in the food supply, and it's something the government should discourage the consumption of."

Interestingly, this tax is being considered as an option to supplement funds for public health care. Over the period of four years, this 3 cent tax per 12oz soda is estimated to generate $24 billion.

But soda? How could they! Soda isn't a sin, there isn't anything wrong with it - why make soda-drinkers pay for social health care? Is nothing sacred!?

*disclaimer: all of the statements above were intended to be satirical.*

Ok, let's compare. What are a few reasons most people find sin taxes on alcohol and cigarettes socially, morally and legally acceptable?

• they're terrible for your health
• they're really, REALLY terrible for your health
• they're addictive
• they often cause delinquent, irresponsible behavior
• they draw in the lower class who works hard, wants release and doesn't have money to go on vacation
  
• they cause people, usually of the lower class, to become dependent on a certain industry-driven substance
• they're expensive, and waste the money of consumers who, let's face it, don't have much money to waste
• they're societal taboos
  
• they're found morally offensive to many societal groups

Every single one of these points can easily be applied to soda and all soda's relatives. Sure, mjmojo, you say. Most of them apply, sure, but no one in their right mind finds the soda pop morally offensive! And soda isn't taboo.

No? It is in my house, it is in my mother's house, it is in my naturopathic doctor's house, and it is in many of my friends' houses. Why? Well, notice the first seven points. Don't you think cigarettes and alcohol are considered morally offensive and taboo by many people for all those good reasons? Well, if those seven points apply to soda, why shouldn't the last two also?

Why the vendetta against soda, you ask. Two reasons:

high fructose corn syrup

aspartame

HFCS is the sweetener used in regular drinks - not just soda, or even beverages. Check your ingredient labels next time you go to the grocery store. I'm not going to try to give you all the reasons why this is bad here, but you can read up on it yourself.

Aspartame is the sugar substitute found in all "diet" products, Nutrasweet and Equal. This is a recognized carginogen which has a long list of harmful and deadly side effects, one of which, ironically, is obesity. Again, educate yourself.

I have a commercial by the Corn Refiner's Association I want to show you, as well as a more in-depth discussion on the corn syrup and aspartame industries, but this post is getting outta control as it is, so we'll save that for Part II. Think about soda tax. If it makes sense to discourage people from smoking cigarettes with heavy taxes, doesn't a 3 cent tax on harmful beverages make sense? Doesn't it also make sense to have those taxes go into a fund which is allocated to take care of the inevitable health complications of those beverage consumers?

Don't agree? Fight me in the comments! And stay tuned for next post's rage against Monsanto...

How to make Hollandaise Sauce for Eggs Benny - the right way!

Surely you're all familiar with this:

This is, along with being my favorite food of all time (serious words coming from a foodie), a deceptively easy-looking meal to create (read: was hard until I discovered this recipe trick!). Eggs benedict deserve their own food category. There are so many delicious, healthful variations on this classic, classy breakfast meal that I just might have to list the number of ways you can spice this up. But first, the basics (from bottom to top):

english muffin
ham/bacon
poached egg
hollandaise sauce

Now, here are all the various and sundry items you can add/substitute to customize it - just like a new laptop:

spinach (I used this instead of bread for a long time while I was on an anti-carbohydrate kick)
asparagus (works as a bread substitute or addition over the eggs)
sliced tomatoes (pile them on just under the egg...mmmm, my favorite)
belgian waffles (for the ambitious only - english muffin substitute - those crazy Belgians!)
shredded crab (go for surf instead of turf)
salmon fillet (same here)
onions (anywhere!)
capers (dump them all over the top and watch them swim around in the hollandaise)

Really, your imagination is the limit. I made a no-meat asparagus version Sunday morning for R (who approved despite the absence of meat), and in so doing I managed to accomplish a feat which has long evaded me - the dreaded homemade hollandaise.

If you've ever tried making this sauce from scratch (no, the powdered packets don't count), you know that making hollandaise sauce is something akin to mixing scrambled eggs with olive oil. In fact, that's exactly what it is. Here are the ingredients (my own concoction) for 2 servings. Very easy to double.

1/4 cup butter
2 egg yolks (no cheating!)
1 fresh squeezed lemon (eq. 6-8 tablespoons juice)

I've seem a million variations on the recipe, but they all have the same problem: the eggs separate from the butter. Well, Sunday, by chance, I finally discovered the answer. Here's the breakdown, recipe-style:

Melt butter on very low heat in small saucepan with whisk. When butter has liquified, add egg yolks and whisk immediately. Cook 3-4 minutes on lowest possible setting, or until egg begins to congeal and separate from butter, forming a consistency somewhere between brains and boogers.

Gross, right?

Next, add brain-booger sauce to small wooden bowl and beat with electric mixer until smooth. Add lemon juice and beat 1-3 minutes more, or until uniform consistency.

NOW it looks like hollandaise! I'm a luddite and, much to my mother's and all her friends' dismay, don't own an electric beater. This is what I have instead:
See how much lighter, sleeker, and more user-friendly that looks? It is! You could use your kitchenaid (if you're going to use a metal bowl, which I don't recommend, make sure it's at least room temperature, or warm - otherwise the butter will solidify and your sauce will be lumpy and cold), but really a handbeater or electric beater works best.

Layer your english muffin/toast, ham/bacon, tomatoes, poached eggs, capers and whatever other tasties you come up with and ladle the hollandaise sauce over until your heart starts to seize.

Mmmmmmm!

Sorry for all the () comments, and thank you for proofing my Squidoo lens! I'm going to do another revision and post again this week...what an awesome bunch of readers!

2nd Best Way to Cook Ground Venison (Poor Man's Peasant Stew)

The first (that I've found) is in shepherd's pie.

If there's anything more common in Michigan than unemployment, it's deer. But we Michiganders don't limit ourselves to hitting these woods-loving herbivores with our cars at late night hours - we see their true value: food.

Matt, who lives upstairs, grew up in the UP (pronounced "you-pee"), and tends to have a lot of ground venison in his freezer. Being a messy bachelor living with another messy bachelor, he doesn't really have the means to cook it, so he passes the honor along to me from time to time. Shepherd's pie was done before at Devin's request (the other bachelor), so this time I went for something a little simpler. And by simple, I mean ridiculously easy. Especially if you have:

a large crock pot
a pink Kitchenaid food processor
lots of garlic lying around

The food processor doesn't HAVE to be pink, but I recommend it. Put your coarse slicing blade in for the green beans, your thin slicing blade for onions, and here we go.

Prepare the soup base in crock pot:
fill pot 1/3 full of water (you can add more later)
beef bullion/soup base - to taste
salt - to taste
soup bone or beef scraps (I had a little beef soup bone on hand...mmmm)

1 lb. ground venison
1 head garlic, finely chopped

Simmer these two together on the stove until browned with dashes of:

1 tsp. ginger
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. chili powder
bay leaves (take out when soup is finished)
black pepper (lots!)
salt (to taste)

Chop these raw vegetables, slicing onions very thin (I quarter mine and food process them)
sweet onions
green beans

Throw vegetables and venison/garlic mixture into crock pot with 1 pint canned tomatoes (if you don't have home-canned, use canned diced). Add:

1 cup uncooked barley

Simmer, covered, on low for 6 - 7 hours or on high for 2-3 hours. When vegetables and barley have reached desired tenderness, add:

1 can of drained peas

Cook until peas are warm - yum!

I served this over yellow garlic mashed potatoes. If you'd like my super-secret recipe for awesome mashed potatoes, leave a comment!

Here are Reagan, Matt and Devin enjoying Poor Man's Stew:

Ford takes astoundingly sensible steps towards sustainability

Reagan and I were thinking we'd have to ride this to work in a few years, but auto manufacturing in Michigan is starting to look up.

Our domestic auto manufacturers have taken some giant, leaping bounds in stupidity over the last several years, but I have to concede that Ford has won my heart - and likely, in the future, my customer loyalty.

Ford just announced its intention to convert its factory in Wayne, Michigan, from a large SUV and truck factory into a "flexible small-car" manufacturing facility. Jon Hodgeman said it best on the Daily Show when he said "Jon, our auto companies were just giving us what we wanted. We wanted bigger, gas-guzzling SUVs, they gave us enormous gas-guzzling SUVs. We wanted smaller more fuel efficient cars, they gave us enormous, gas-guzzling SUVs."

I remember very clearly what dad had to say about GM's first civilian Hummer. "It's nothing but a shitty SUV chassis with a flimsy Hummer-shaped body bolted on!" Hummer consumers didn't seem to care (I apologize for my bluntness, if you have ever owned or considered owning a Hummer. I also urge you to reconsider your choices.) - but worse, with an impending energy crisis and Middle Eastern conflict over oil, you would think GM would think twice about designing cars which required an increasing amount of resources - steel, polymers, aluminum, petroleum none the least. The other auto companies have done no better. The kind of cars my parents bought 40 years ago were not only more durable than today's cars, but they made 40 miles to the gallon without breaking a sweat. Even my little 20-year old Mitsubishi pickup wizzes by at 30 miles to the gallon.

But late is better than never, and Ford is quickly seeing the error of its ways. The converted Michigan factory will support 3,200 jobs - a nice break for a state that has had unemployment rates peaking at 15%. The conversion will take an anticipated $550 million - a brave step for one of the few U.S. auto companies NOT taking any bailout money. 

The plant has plans to have a new, fuel efficient Ford Focus on the market by 2010, with further plans for a electric battery operated model being released in 2011.

Incidentally, the car Reagan and I bought last year is a Ford Focus. It gets 30 miles to the gallon (which is why I bought it), and I love it.  I'm looking forward to investing in my first electric car in 2011.

Ford understands that this conversion - and, hopefully, many more to come - is not only a good idea for the current industry market, but ESSENTIAL. It's essential for Ford's survival as a company because it's essential to us as a country, as a nation, as a species.

I thought this was exciting news and wanted to share. Thanks for tuning in, and for sticking with me as the Mojo finds its niche. How nice to hear from Amy and Andy!

Coming soon:

Venison peasant stew (including some funny pictures of Reagan and our neighbors enjoying it)

Quarantine review - my first zombie movie review ever!

The lowdown on Joss Whedon's new series, the Dollhouse

...and more!

Manufacturing rebounds, the Mojo tries to find its voice...

It's difficult to develop a "personal" blog when you write technical articles all day.

Yesterday I wrote and posted this for work:

Is It Finally Springtime for Manufacturers?

If you're feeling suicidal about Michigan's (or the U.S) economy right now, this might be a nice boost. The best part: I did NOT fabricate all the information in the article. Which is more than you can say for some news sources...

Other favorites of mine were my articles on air-powered cars and new U.S. developments in wind power. Writing the analytics articles made me feel very nerdy.

Since mom had open heart surgery (fyi, she's doing fantastic! R and I planted her garden last weekend, and she was just as bossy as she was with the maple syrup), I've collected several readers of the middle-aged Michigan woman persuasion (yay!). This is a spirited crew, but not exactly what I had in mind when I started the Mojo. I hope to keep this audience on with recipe articles (stay tuned for tomorrow's post on venison peasant stew) and whathaveyou.

There are two other audiences I don't know how to reconcile. There are:
My emo-loving, PBR-drinking, indie-movie-loving Friends, and there are all the other readers I'll get - probably B2B business people or marketers from my work articles.

How do I reconcile these three very different audiences without losing one or two (or all) of them? Much as I would love to write articles on the nuances of the Noldor of Beleriand during the Second Age in Middle Earth, I think I would lose most of my marketing audience (and most of my friends, too). I could do show and movie reviews for my friends, such as last night's house viewing of Quarantine (um..yeah, stay tuned for that, I've gotta get some zombies off my chest) - but that would (will) would lose all the lovely middle aged women who are friends with mom. There are so many great blogs on SEO and marketing that have more expert voices than mine could be, so I'd prefer not to go there. And recipes are great, but...do marketing professionals really want to know all the nuances of buttercream frosting?

So, if you're reading this, help me out. Comment and tell me which audience you belong to and what you'd like to see pop up in your RSS 3x each week. Here I am, your own personal cook/marketer/hipster journalist - make me your slave!

(I don't mean that comment literally, and if you've ever been engaged in an unfortunate S&M incident and took offense, I apologize)