How to make Hollandaise Sauce for Eggs Benny - the right way!

Surely you're all familiar with this:

This is, along with being my favorite food of all time (serious words coming from a foodie), a deceptively easy-looking meal to create (read: was hard until I discovered this recipe trick!). Eggs benedict deserve their own food category. There are so many delicious, healthful variations on this classic, classy breakfast meal that I just might have to list the number of ways you can spice this up. But first, the basics (from bottom to top):

english muffin
ham/bacon
poached egg
hollandaise sauce

Now, here are all the various and sundry items you can add/substitute to customize it - just like a new laptop:

spinach (I used this instead of bread for a long time while I was on an anti-carbohydrate kick)
asparagus (works as a bread substitute or addition over the eggs)
sliced tomatoes (pile them on just under the egg...mmmm, my favorite)
belgian waffles (for the ambitious only - english muffin substitute - those crazy Belgians!)
shredded crab (go for surf instead of turf)
salmon fillet (same here)
onions (anywhere!)
capers (dump them all over the top and watch them swim around in the hollandaise)

Really, your imagination is the limit. I made a no-meat asparagus version Sunday morning for R (who approved despite the absence of meat), and in so doing I managed to accomplish a feat which has long evaded me - the dreaded homemade hollandaise.

If you've ever tried making this sauce from scratch (no, the powdered packets don't count), you know that making hollandaise sauce is something akin to mixing scrambled eggs with olive oil. In fact, that's exactly what it is. Here are the ingredients (my own concoction) for 2 servings. Very easy to double.

1/4 cup butter
2 egg yolks (no cheating!)
1 fresh squeezed lemon (eq. 6-8 tablespoons juice)

I've seem a million variations on the recipe, but they all have the same problem: the eggs separate from the butter. Well, Sunday, by chance, I finally discovered the answer. Here's the breakdown, recipe-style:

Melt butter on very low heat in small saucepan with whisk. When butter has liquified, add egg yolks and whisk immediately. Cook 3-4 minutes on lowest possible setting, or until egg begins to congeal and separate from butter, forming a consistency somewhere between brains and boogers.

Gross, right?

Next, add brain-booger sauce to small wooden bowl and beat with electric mixer until smooth. Add lemon juice and beat 1-3 minutes more, or until uniform consistency.

NOW it looks like hollandaise! I'm a luddite and, much to my mother's and all her friends' dismay, don't own an electric beater. This is what I have instead:
See how much lighter, sleeker, and more user-friendly that looks? It is! You could use your kitchenaid (if you're going to use a metal bowl, which I don't recommend, make sure it's at least room temperature, or warm - otherwise the butter will solidify and your sauce will be lumpy and cold), but really a handbeater or electric beater works best.

Layer your english muffin/toast, ham/bacon, tomatoes, poached eggs, capers and whatever other tasties you come up with and ladle the hollandaise sauce over until your heart starts to seize.

Mmmmmmm!

Sorry for all the () comments, and thank you for proofing my Squidoo lens! I'm going to do another revision and post again this week...what an awesome bunch of readers!